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Here's the conclusion to my nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat battle between Chuck Norris and the UNSC. If you missed part two, check it out here. Hit the jump to read the finale.

Instinctively, Master Chief slammed on the gas, heading straight for Chuck Norris. If the forerunner legends were true - and it looked like they were - it would take a lot more than a mongoose to take down this man. The Chief zoomed ahead. All in a flash, Norris grabbed the front of the mongoose, digging his fingertips into the melt like it was butter, and flung the vehicle backwards. Master Chief went barreling through the air and landed with a thud. His world was spinning but he could make out legs approaching him. He played dead. As soon as Chuck Norris was within striking distance, Master Chief swung his legs around with as much force as he could muster and connected with the back of Norris' knees. It fell like kicking a steel girder, but it worked. Norris went crashing backwards. Without a moment's hesitation, the Chief jumped to his feet, turned over the toppled mongoose and sped off back the way he came.

He had the camp in his sights when the first tremor hit. It wouldn't be long now. The Chief breathed a sigh of relief when he spotted a pack of marines, weapons drawn and ready, led by Sergeant Avery Johnson.

"Chief," Johnson greeted him, "tell me what I'm hearing isn't true." Johnson was never scared or worried, just annoyed.

"It's true."

"Sheeeeeeeit. Is he the real deal?"

"Looks like." Master Chief scanned the marines. They were all equipped with standard battle rifles. "Sarge, get some of these guys equipped with rocket launchers. We got any turrets we can set up?" Johnson didn't answer himself, he simply looked at another marine, passing the question off to him.

"I think we have two," the marine answered, "I'll get them set up right away." And with that, he was off. Talking to the Sergeant, Master Chief didn't even notice that the tremors had stopped. He turned and looked in the direction he had left Norris and there he was. In an opening about a hundred yards off, Chuck Norris stood silent with his fists clinched.

"Sir," a marine piped up. He couldn't hide the nervousness in his voice, but he tried. "What do you want us to do?" Johnson looked at Master Chief. Master Chief nodded.

"Do what you do best, boys. Kill." Before Johnson could get his last word out, a rocket went screaming by towards Chuck Norris. Everyone froze and stared, no one actually believing that it would stop him. Sure enough, it didn't. A mere foot away from his face, he batted it off course with a simple wave of his hand. The rocket went flying past him and exploded into a tree behind him. He stared daggers at the marine that fired it. He broke into a run.

"Fire! Open fire!" Johnson shouted, unnecessarily. The sound of gunfire filled the air as Chuck Norris loomed closer. The bullets did nothing. Master Chief could actually see them bouncing off of Chuck Norris, but they had no effect, not even on his clothes. Another rocket was fired and hit Norris square in the chest before exploding, but he came charging out of the explosion as if it hadn't even phased him. He charged into the pack of marines and started taking them down, one by one. To their credit, they fought until the end.

The forerunners were telling the truth, about everything. Chuck Norris couldn't be stopped.

"Sarge," the Chief spoke up, "get out of here."

"What?"

"There's nothing you can do. I'll hold him off for as long as I can. Have the Pillar of Autumn pick you up and get the hell out of here. Destroy this whole damn planet if you have to."

"I'm not going anywhere." Master Chief looked at the Sergeant.

"They need you. You know I'm right." Johnson didn't know how to respond. The Chief was right.

"Go, now. I have a plan." Sergeant Avery Johnson didn't like the idea of running. He didn't like the idea of his friend dying for him, either. This wasn't about him, though. This was about the human race. He had a job to do. He ran. Master Chief turned to face Chuck Norris, who was standing amidst a pile of bodies. Chief heard a warthog drive off. He didn't know if he could stop Chuck Norris, but he could buy Johnson time. He hurried over to his mongoose as Norris began to walk towards him. He reached into the vehicle's cargo area and pulled out his plan: a Covenant plasma Grenade.

He put the grenade in his belt and ran towards Norris with all that he had. He threw a punch that connected with Norris' jaw. He threw a second. A third. The Chief's right hand was hurt, possibly broken, and Norris didn't show a single sign of pain or discomfort. At the end of his rope, his brought his head down and smashed his helmet into Norris' face. His visor shattered. A small trickle of blood ran from the corner of Norris' mouth. In what was left of his helmet, Master Chief smiled.

Enraged, Norris wrapped his hands around Master Chief's throat, crushing his armor and choking the life out of him. This was it. Master Chief pulled the plasma grenade from his belt, activated it, and stuck it in the center of Chuck Norris' chest. Just before Master Chief's world went dark, everything went bright.

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